Speaking My Truth

I actually planned to start this blog about a year ago.  But, every time I sat down to write, I couldn’t find a reason to actually put fingers to keyboard.  There are many people (mostly women) writing about the Divine Feminine.  If I was going to add my voice to theirs, I needed a reason to do so.

Then the election happened. Like many suburban and urban Liberals, I was surprised by the outcome.  Looking back, I shouldn’t have been. There were signs none of us wanted to see.  Still I went to bed in tears.  I shed more upon waking. Kissed my husband as he left for work and powered up my computer.  I began by checking the FB posts from friends.  Then I scrolled over to some of the groups I’m in that focus on the Feminine.  It was there that I began to find solace in the recurring message, “We were made for this time.”

I know. It sounds like a platitude scripted for self-serving comfort. But, it rang true for me; a validation of the path my life has taken over the last two years. It’s been a path of moving into the Feminine. Of developing a relationship with Goddess within and without.  Of balancing the knowledge that comes from my head, with the knowledge that comes from my heart and being in my body.  Remembering and rediscovering Women’s Wisdom. Peppering practices that I teach (yoga and meditation) with elements of this knowledge. Transforming my personal practices to be more Feminine without deleting the years of wisdom handed down from men. Learning to lead as an equal in a Circle of women, instead of as a “Benevolent Autocrat” (means I like to give orders, but I say please and thank you. Its the management style I tested as twice back in my management days).

Many of the rights that I, as a white woman in the United States, have taken for granted are now at risk. I fear for friends and this planet. From my privileged place, I could adopt a strategy of protective silence, move to the Land of Denial and hope its all been political hyperbole. But the Cabinet appointments and moves being made by Republican Leadership have pretty much taken that air out of that fantasy. I could make tracks to Canada. But, as pointed out in this great article by Eric March on Upworthy,

Muslim Americans, Latino Americans, black Americans, LGBTQ Americans, disabled Americans, women Americans. They’re our friends, family members, and neighbors. And they don’t all have a crash pad in Quebec waiting for them.. . . We need to do whatever we can to slow or stop the injustices from piling up. If it requires civil disobedience, we need to be here to disobey. We can’t leave the burden on those who can least afford the risk.

I have spent the last year in focused work on Speaking My Truth.  As someone who grew up in a home where it often wasn’t safe to say what you were thinking, this has long been a big obstacle for me.  The coping skills we develop as children in unsafe environments aren’t easily discarded in adulthood. It is easy to Speak One’s Truth when you know it will be welcomed.  When you are either unsure of how it will be received or are damn sure it will be met with stony silence or something ugly, the easiest thing to do is remain silent.

I don’t think I can do that any more. Now silence hurts, physically and mentally.

As important as Speaking Truth, calling out injustice and making my dissent known, I don’t think we can depend entirely on the tools and models activists used previously. I believe we are going to need something more.  I believe we are going to need the Feminine. I don’t know exactly what this means in terms of activism. It is something I am exploring along with other women who feel the same way..

What I know so far is that bringing in the Feminine means LOVE. Not sitting around a campfire singing Kumbaya kind of love. But LOVE that can see through my own ego and that of others. LOVE that seeks similarity instead of difference; that responds rather than reacts. LOVE that stays when the rational mind wants to run.

It is not weak. Nor does it leave discretion at the door in the name of Tolerance. This LOVE can be as gentle as a Mother holding her newborn child. Or as fierce as a Mama Bear protecting her cubs.  Its forms are as endless as the Divine Herself.

And so my prayer is that I can remain rooted in this LOVE while rising to the challenges that are now upon us. That my heart remains open when logic says it shouldn’t.

There is a Chinese Proverb that says, “When women wake, mountains will move.” I believe the alarm clock has gone off.

6 thoughts on “Speaking My Truth

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